CHRIST ON A CROSS!!! (AD)

He is saying "yo Dawg I can't do you any harm in any way because I don't even have venom glands, but I am creepy as shit"
Christ on a cross is what I yelled when A huge ass Daddy Long Leg walked across my keyboard as I was typing 5 minutes ago, I jumped up and took a couple of steps back, then I realized that 2 more Daddy Long Legs were by my feet, Now let me clarify by saying, I am a vegetarian, I love animals and animal rights and all that BS but bugs ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING!!! I hate all bugs, the only exceptions are Butterflys, Ladybugs, Bumble Bees (did you know you can pet a bumble bee? dude you can, one time there was this furry little bumble bee sleeping in a flower and it woke up and was like "yo whats up? look how cute I am!" and I petted (is that a word? do I use the word pat?) his little fuzzy butt) , pretty moths, and some times grasshoppers, crickets, and praying mantises, because the last three are OK until they hop near me. anyways the 2 were at my feet, I ran upstairs grabbed a can of lysol and armed myself, the big one was still on the keyboard so I picked up the video game Splinter Cell (its OK I don't play it often) and smashed old big ass till he was twitching and dead. I then turned around where the other two DLLs were and I said "GO TELL THE OTHER SPIDERS WHAT YOU JUST SAW" and sure enough they scrambled out of sight, since I gave my warning I went back to my post at the computer, then they crawled towards me again so I grabbed the lysol and sprayed them till they stopped twitching (did you know lysol kills silver fish right on contact? it does) and then after I killed 3 spiders I googled them, turns out they are all harmless and it made me feel kind of bad, I can still smell the lysol, it smells like guilt and shame. I went on this site BTW http://spiders.ucr.edu/daddylonglegs.html ,oh well at least I was safe and not sorry (I'm an asshole basically) (and don't judge me it was self defense)